It Doesn’t Happen Overnight
Let’s be honest about something:
Forgiveness does not always happen overnight.
We hear people say,
“Just forgive and move on.”
But when you’ve been hurt for real…
when it cut deep…
when it caught you off guard…
It’s not that simple.
And I’ve learned this for myself:
Forgiveness is not always instant—it’s a process.
First, You Have to Check Yourself
Before we even talk about forgiving others…
We have to start with ourselves.
We don’t always realize it, but sometimes we are carrying:
Guilt
Regret
Shame
Things we haven’t forgiven ourselves for
And if you haven’t forgiven yourself…
It will be hard to truly forgive someone else.
Psalm 51:10 (KJV) says:
“Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.”
That’s where it starts.
You have to go to God and say:
“Lord, help me. I can’t do this on my own.”
Ask God for Help
Forgiveness is not something we can always do in our own strength.
Some hurts are too deep.
Some situations are too painful.
Some wounds take time to heal.
That’s why we need God.
Philippians 4:13 (KJV) says:
“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”
That includes forgiveness.
Even when you don’t feel ready…
Even when your heart is still hurting…
God can help you get there.
Everyone’s Timing Is Different
This is something we have to understand:
Not everyone forgives at the same pace.
Some people can forgive quickly.
Others need time.
And that doesn’t make you weak.
It makes you human.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 (KJV) says:
“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.”
That includes healing.
That includes forgiveness.
So don’t rush yourself.
But also don’t stay stuck.
We’ve All Been There
Every single one of us has been in a place where we struggled to forgive.
Whether we want to admit it or not.
We’ve had moments where we said:
“I’m not ready.”
“That hurt too much.”
“I need time.”
And God didn’t rush us.
He walked us through it.
That’s the same grace we have to allow ourselves.
God Had to Show Me First
One thing I’ve learned is this:
God will show you His forgiveness…
so you can learn how to forgive others.
When you really think about it…
God forgives us every single day.
For things we say
For things we do
For things we don’t even realize
And He doesn’t hold it over our heads.
Micah 7:18 (KJV) says:
“Who is a God like unto thee, that pardoneth iniquity… because he delighteth in mercy.”
That right there will humble you.
Because if God can forgive me…
How can I hold unforgiveness toward someone else forever?
Forgiveness Is a Choice (Even Before It’s a Feeling)
Here’s something that helped me:
Forgiveness is a choice before it becomes a feeling.
You may not feel like forgiving right away.
Your emotions may not be there yet.
But you can still choose to say:
“Lord, I’m willing.”
And that’s the beginning.
Colossians 3:13 (KJV) says:
“Forgiving one another… even as Christ forgave you…”
Notice it doesn’t say “when you feel like it.”
It’s a decision.
And then God works on your heart from there.
You Need the Right People Around You
Forgiveness becomes easier when you have the right people around you.
People who:
Encourage you
Pray with you
Remind you of God’s Word
Speak truth into your life
Because sometimes, when you’re hurting…
You can’t see clearly.
But God will place people in your life to help you through it.
Proverbs 11:14 (KJV) says:
“In the multitude of counsellors there is safety.”
Don’t go through it alone.
Healing and Forgiveness Go Together
You can’t talk about forgiveness without talking about healing.
Because real forgiveness requires healing.
Not pretending
Not ignoring
Not brushing it off
But actually allowing God to deal with it.
Psalm 147:3 (KJV) says:
“He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.”
That means God doesn’t just tell you to forgive…
He heals you so you can.
Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean It Didn’t Hurt
Let’s clear this up.
Forgiving someone does NOT mean:
It didn’t hurt
It didn’t matter
It didn’t affect you
It simply means:
You are choosing peace over holding onto pain.
You are saying:
“I’m not going to let this control me anymore.”
You Won’t Always Get an Apology
This is another hard truth.
Sometimes the person who hurt you will never say sorry.
But you still have to forgive.
Not for them…
But for you.
Mark 11:25 (KJV) says:
“And when ye stand praying, forgive…”
Not “when they apologize.”
Not “when they fix it.”
Just forgive.
Forgiveness Brings Freedom
When you finally let it go…
You will feel it.
That weight lifts.
That heaviness fades.
That tension leaves.
Because unforgiveness is heavy.
But forgiveness?
It frees you.
John 8:36 (KJV) says:
“If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.”
That includes freedom from bitterness.
It Gets Easier Over Time
The more you walk with God…
The easier forgiveness becomes.
Not because people stop hurting you…
But because your heart changes.
You begin to:
Pause instead of react
Pray instead of holding grudges
Release instead of holding on
And before you know it…
You’re forgiving quicker than you used to.
Final Thought: Take Your Time, But Don’t Stay There
Forgiveness takes time.
Yes, it does.
But don’t stay stuck in the hurt.
Take it to God.
Work through it.
Pray through it.
And let Him help you release it.
Because at the end of the day…
Forgiveness is not just about them.
It’s about your peace.
Your healing.
Your freedom.
Reflection Questions
1. Is there someone I need to forgive, but I’ve been putting it off?
2. Have I truly forgiven myself for past mistakes?
3. Am I allowing God to help me through the process?
Prayer
Heavenly Father,
I come to You asking for help with forgiveness. You know my heart, my pain, and what I’ve been holding onto. Help me to forgive, even when it’s hard. Heal every broken place in me and give me the strength to let go. Teach me to forgive the way You forgive me. Help me not to rush the process, but also not to stay stuck in it. I trust You to guide me through this. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Hugs and Love,
Ty 🤍
Encouraged by Faith
Forgiveness doesn’t always happen in a single moment. It may unfold slowly, in quiet decisions I make every day to release the weight I’ve been carrying. This one hit home for me. Through my faith, I find space to sit with the pain while still believing healing is possible. Healing, for me, is not about forgetting or pretending everything is okay. It’s about allowing my spirit to be softened over time, trusting that even in struggle, I am being shaped into someone more compassionate and free. Step by step, I learn to let go, not because it was easy, but because my peace is worth choosing again and again. Faith remind that I don’t have to force forgiveness before I’m ready, but I don’t have to stay stuck in what hurt me.