Marriage is a journey.
I think sometimes we look at marriage and only see the beautiful parts.
The wedding.
The pictures.
The anniversary celebrations.
The vacations.
The smiling family photos.
But marriage is much bigger than those moments.
Marriage is two people bringing their personalities, backgrounds, habits, strengths, weaknesses, expectations, and life experiences together and deciding they are going to build a life.
That takes work.
It also takes God.
Whether you are already married, preparing for marriage, praying for a spouse, or simply thinking about what you would want marriage to look like one day, I believe God needs to be part of that journey.
We cannot only invite Him into the wedding ceremony.
We need Him in the marriage.
We need Him in the conversations.
The decisions.
The disagreements.
The finances.
The family situations.
The good seasons.
And definitely the difficult ones.
I want God involved in all of it.
Marriage Is Not About Finding a Perfect Person
There is no perfect husband.
There is no perfect wife.
And if I am being truthful, none of us would be the perfect spouse either.
We are all still growing.
That is why I think expecting another person to get everything right will create unnecessary disappointment.
Your spouse may forget something.
They may respond the wrong way.
They may have a habit that gets on your nerves.
You may do the same thing to them.
Marriage requires remembering that you are dealing with another human being who is still allowing God to work on them just like God is working on you.
Instead of always asking:
“Lord, why won’t they change?”
Sometimes we may need to ask:
“Lord, what are You trying to change in me?”
That question can shift the whole conversation.
Don’t Make Your Spouse Responsible for Everything You Need
I believe your spouse should support you.
They should love you.
Encourage you.
Pray for you.
Listen to you.
Be there for you.
But they cannot be everything.
There are needs in us that only God can meet.
If we expect another person to give us all of our peace, happiness, confidence, security, and purpose, that becomes too much weight for anyone to carry.
Your spouse cannot replace God.
That is why both people need their own relationship with Him.
You should be able to pray together, but you should also know how to pray for yourself.
You can read Scripture together, but you should still know God for yourself.
A healthy marriage has two people walking together without either person becoming the other’s god.
Sometimes You Will Not Agree
Two people can love each other deeply and still see something differently.
That does not mean the marriage is failing.
You may have different ideas about money.
Parenting.
Family.
Schedules.
Responsibilities.
Where to live.
How to handle a particular situation.
The important part is how you handle the disagreement.
I do not believe every disagreement needs to become an argument.
Sometimes we need to stop trying to prove who is right and start trying to understand each other.
What are they actually saying?
Why do they feel that way?
What am I missing?
Can we find common ground?
And if we still do not agree right away, can we pray about it before making the situation worse?
James 1:19 (KJV)
“Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.”
That Scripture can help in any relationship.
Sometimes the best thing we can do for our marriage is listen before we respond.
Don’t Invite Everybody Into Your Marriage
This is important.
Some things should stay between husband, wife, and God.
Everybody does not need to know every disagreement you have.
Everybody does not need the details of your spouse’s weaknesses.
Everybody does not need to know what happened last night.
We have to be careful who we allow into our marriage.
Now, if you need wise counsel, there is nothing wrong with seeking help from a trustworthy pastor, counselor, mentor, or qualified professional.
But that is different from telling your private marriage business to everybody who will listen.
Once certain things are shared, you cannot take them back.
You and your spouse may forgive each other tomorrow.
The person you told may still be angry with your spouse six months later.
Protect your marriage.
Use wisdom about who gets access to it.
Your Marriage Will Go Through Different Seasons
Marriage will not look the same every year.
There may be seasons when everything feels easy.
Then there may be seasons when life becomes demanding.
A new job.
Children.
Financial changes.
Health concerns.
Caring for parents.
Moving.
Loss.
Different responsibilities.
Those things can affect a marriage.
That is why I think we have to learn to grow together instead of expecting everything to stay the same.
The person you married is going to grow.
You are going to grow too.
You both may discover new goals.
New interests.
New responsibilities.
Instead of fearing every change, ask God how to move through the new season together.
Marriage is not about freezing two people in one moment.
It is learning how to keep choosing one another as life changes.
Stop Comparing Your Marriage
Social media can make everybody else’s marriage look wonderful.
You see the anniversary post.
The flowers.
The vacation.
The date night.
The beautiful home.
And maybe you start thinking:
“Why doesn’t my marriage look like that?”
But you are seeing a moment.
You do not know what happens in that household every day.
You do not know what they have worked through.
You do not know what they are currently dealing with.
Do not compare the inside of your marriage to the outside of somebody else’s.
Focus on what God is doing in your home.
Your marriage does not need to look like anyone else’s to be healthy.
Make Room for Each Other to Grow
I would not want someone holding every past mistake over my head while God is trying to change me.
So I should not do that to someone else either.
If your spouse is genuinely growing, give them room to grow.
Do not constantly remind them:
“You used to do this.”
“You always did that.”
“I remember when you…”
At some point, we have to allow people to become different.
If we ask God to work on our spouse and then refuse to recognize the changes He makes, what are we doing?
Celebrate progress.
Encourage growth.
Nobody changes everything overnight.
Learn Your Spouse Again
I think this is something couples can forget.
Do not assume you already know everything about the person simply because you have been together a long time.
People change.
Ask questions.
What are they dreaming about now?
What has been bothering them?
What are they praying about?
What are they excited about?
What do they need more of from you?
Sometimes marriages become distant because couples stop being curious about each other.
They talk about bills.
Schedules.
Children.
Responsibilities.
But they stop really talking.
Keep learning the person you married.
Pray for Your Spouse, Not Only About Your Spouse
There is a difference.
Sometimes our prayer can become:
“Lord, fix him.”
“Lord, change her.”
“Lord, make them understand.”
But what if we prayed differently?
“Lord, protect my spouse.”
“Strengthen them.”
“Give them wisdom.”
“Help them with what they are carrying.”
“Help me love them the way I should.”
That prayer sounds different.
It changes our heart too.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 (KJV)
“And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
I like thinking of marriage that way.
Husband.
Wife.
God.
God needs to remain woven into the relationship.
Don’t Stop Dating Each Other
Marriage comes with responsibilities, but everything cannot become a responsibility.
Make time for each other.
It does not always require an expensive dinner or vacation.
Sometimes it is sitting together without phones.
Taking a ride.
Going for coffee.
Eating dinner and actually talking.
Watching something together.
Laughing.
Remember why you enjoy each other.
A marriage cannot survive on responsibilities alone.
Friendship matters too.
Know When You Need Help
Sometimes prayer and a conversation between the two of you are enough.
Other situations may require additional support.
There is no shame in that.
Marriage counseling does not automatically mean your marriage is failing.
Sometimes getting help means you care enough about the marriage to work on it.
If communication has broken down, trust has been damaged, or the same conflict keeps happening without resolution, wise outside help can give you tools you did not have before.
And if there is abuse, threats, coercion, or danger, safety comes first. Getting professional help and moving to a safe situation is not failing God.
God does not require someone to remain in danger to prove their faith.
What About the Person Waiting for Marriage?
Trusting God with your marriage journey can begin before you have a spouse.
Maybe you are praying for marriage.
Do not become so focused on finding someone that you stop allowing God to work on you.
Prepare your heart too.
What kind of spouse would you be?
How do you communicate?
How do you handle money?
How do you respond when you are angry?
Can you apologize?
Can you forgive?
Can you compromise without losing yourself?
We often make long lists of what we want in another person.
Maybe we should also ask:
“Lord, prepare me to be a healthy partner too.”
Marriage Should Be a Partnership, Not a Competition
I do not want marriage to become:
“Who makes more?”
“Who does more?”
“Who is more important?”
“Who gets the final word?”
You are supposed to be on the same team.
If one person wins and the other person always feels defeated, the marriage is still losing.
Work together.
Celebrate each other.
Support each other’s goals.
Share responsibilities in ways that make sense for your household.
Talk about expectations instead of assuming the other person should already know.
Partnership means remembering that you are trying to build something together.
Give Grace, but Don’t Avoid Accountability
Grace is important in marriage.
So is accountability.
Loving somebody does not mean pretending their choices do not affect you.
If there is something that needs to be discussed, discuss it.
Do it respectfully.
Do not embarrass each other.
Do not purposely use painful information as a weapon.
But do not ignore serious problems because you are afraid of conflict either.
Healthy love can say:
“This hurt me.”
“We need to work on this.”
“I need something to change.”
Love is not silence.
Sometimes love requires an honest conversation.
Keep God in the Middle When Things Are Good Too
We often pray hardest when something is wrong.
But marriage needs God during the good seasons too.
Thank Him for your spouse.
Thank Him for the laughter.
Thank Him for another anniversary.
Thank Him for the ordinary nights at home.
Thank Him for the problems you already worked through.
Do not wait for trouble to remember you need God in your marriage.
Psalm 127:1 (KJV)
“Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it.”
I want God building the house.
Not just repairing it when something goes wrong.
Final Thoughts: Trust God With the Whole Journey
Marriage is not one moment.
It is a collection of seasons.
There will be days when you feel extremely close.
There may be other days when you need to work harder to understand each other.
There will be laughter.
Decisions.
Changes.
Mistakes.
Forgiveness.
Growth.
That is why I believe trusting God with your marriage means giving Him the whole journey.
Not only the wedding.
Not only the problems.
Everything.
If you are married, keep learning your spouse.
Keep communicating.
Keep praying.
Keep making room for growth.
Protect what belongs between the two of you.
Get wise help when you need it.
And do not spend your marriage comparing it to somebody else’s.
If you are waiting for marriage, trust God with that season too.
You do not have to force a relationship because you are tired of waiting.
Allow Him to prepare you and guide you.
Marriage is too important to build without God.
I want Him in the foundation.
In the decisions.
In the conversations.
In the changes.
And in every season that comes after “I do.”
Scriptures
Ecclesiastes 4:12 (KJV) — “And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
James 1:19 (KJV) — “Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.”
Psalm 127:1 (KJV) — “Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it.”
Reflection Questions
- Is God truly at the center of my marriage journey, or do I mainly turn to Him when something goes wrong?
- Am I listening to my spouse to understand them, or only waiting for my turn to respond?
- Is there an area of my marriage—or my own preparation for marriage—that God is asking me to work on?
- What is one simple way I can strengthen connection, communication, or prayer in my relationship?
Prayer
Heavenly Father,
Thank You for the gift and responsibility of marriage. Help us keep You at the center of every season.
Teach us to communicate with love, listen with patience, forgive with grace, and grow together instead of apart. Protect our marriages from unnecessary outside influence, comparison, pride, and division.
For those waiting for marriage, give them patience and wisdom. Prepare their hearts and lead them toward the person and relationship You have for them.
Build our homes, guide our decisions, and help our relationships honor You.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
With Love,
Ty 🤍
Encouraged by Faith
About the Author
Hi, I’m Ty, founder of Encouraged by Faith. I share real-life encouragement, Scripture, prayer, and lessons about trusting God through every part of life’s journey. My prayer is that these messages encourage you to keep God at the center of your relationships, your decisions, and the life you are building.